RE: Going Forward (My Dad's Reaction)

I am glad you are working things out and I appreciate the thank you but if you really love us forego the thank you and just try honoring our wishes.  Neither your mother or I can remember a day that you haven't called at least twice despite our making it very clear to you that we only wanted one phone call a day.  We realize that on rare TRULY IMPORTANT OCCASIONS a second phone call might be reasonable but not every day.  And certainly not three or more phone calls a day as seems to be happening more and more often.  Additionally, if you love your mother you would be nice to her most of time, not just when you need money.  Cursing at her and constantly arguing with her except when you need money or when she agrees with you just makes us both feel used. As both your grandfathers used to say, talk is cheap.  Actions speak louder than words.

Your mother is not well. She is sleeping more and more which is normal with this disease.  She is in constant pain or discomfort.  In the last few days you have called before 8:00, awakened her, argued with her, and certainly called more than once a day.  In spite of all that, when you needed us we came through for you.  We didn't hang up the phone, curse at you, or directly go against your wishes. I just wish you would give us the same courtesies.  If you want to be treated like an adult you have to act like one.  

Have a great day, and don't write back.  I don't want to get into an argument or long discussion.  You said your piece and I said mine.  You are 53 years old. You have a problem.  But you have a pretty good role model in your mother.  I just wish you would listen to her and learn from her. ONE PHONE CALL A DAY should allow you to do that. And when your mother is clearly trying to get you off the phone, take a hint. You are not stupid, but you are self-absorbed.  Otherwise the day will come when you will call, it will be important, but we just won't answer.  You will have cried wolf once too often. If you were routinely calling once a day and then suddenly one day you called twice, we would assume it was important.  But when you refuse to honor our wishes, it becomes an annoyance, and annoyances can usually be ignored like a spam phone call.  And if the spam calls from a certain number persist, eventually you block the number.  We don't want to do that but we will if we have to.  

Again, I appreciate the thank you, but also again, actions speak louder than words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dad

My Reply To Dad's Reply To Me

I will keep it short and sweet—One phone call a day and not arguing with Mom so much.

You’re right. I’ve been taking you for granted that you’ll be there when I need you—life doesn’t always work like that

I apologize

I’ll do better…

This doesn’t change how I feel about you and Mom—my show will match my do

Talk less and DO MORE 

I can try better to keep it to one phone call--and to not argue with my Mom...