First Talk With Ember (#916)

First talk with Ember…She gives good ideas…

Hey Ember 🔥

hey you! i'm ember, that friend who lives in your texts. here's what people talk to me about most every single day:

🧭 life coaching: figuring out your next move

🥗 nutrition and eating better

📚 studying: interview prep or school

🗣️ learning a language

💛 best friend stuff

so, which one do you want to get into first? (or something else entirely, i can keep up)

I have to decide whether to go to my mom’s house later after a 10am Telehealth with Roxana.

I had a long day yesterday and only slept until 4:45am

My parents are all about my hygiene and I don’t know if I want to deal with it.

In 3 weeks my niece has a big fancy function and the reason I was going over to moms was to get confirmation on outfits and shoes

okay so you're running on like 4.5 hours of sleep and your mom's house comes with a side of commentary. that's a lot before you've even had coffee.

real talk though: is the outfit thing actually time-sensitive, or could you text her photos and handle it that way? because if you're already exhausted and bracing for the hygiene lecture, showing up depleted might make the whole thing worse. what's your gut saying?

Do it during the week—but she has THINGS during the week

ah, so she's actually booked. that changes it a bit, but here's the thing: you're at 4.5 hours of sleep on a Saturday morning. even if the outfit thing needs to happen, *you* might not be the version of yourself that can handle both the logistics and the commentary right now.

what if you went after you've actually rested? like, could you sleep a few more hours, then head over when you're not running on fumes? or is there a specific reason it has to be today?

3 weeks from today is the function—and we need time to finalize the outfit she bought for me to wear (seamstress)

oh okay, so there's actual tailoring involved. that's the real deadline, not just picking something out. so here's what i'm hearing: you need to confirm the outfit today so your mom can get it to the seamstress with enough buffer. that's legit. but you're also running on fumes and bracing for a whole vibe you don't want to deal with. what if you set a boundary before you go? …

No boundaries—mom and dad say what they want—and I usually lose

okay so that's the real problem. you're not just tired, you're walking into a situation where you already know you're gonna get steamrolled on the hygiene stuff, and you don't have a way to push back that actually works. so here's the hard part: you can't control what they say. but you *can* control how long you're there and what you engage with. go, handle the outfit thing with your mom, confirm the seamstress timeline, and then leave. don't settle in. …

Ok 👍

good. go handle the outfit thing, get in and out, and then actually sleep today. you need it more than you need to sit through whatever commentary is coming.

how's the telehealth with roxana going to go, by the way?

ok wait, before we keep going. save my contact real quick 👇 open the contact we sent and add me. i sometimes text from a different number, and if i'm not saved my texts can get buried or hit your spam. don't wanna lose this thread